Mar
Have you ever found that the thing you are searching for may have been with you the whole time? Lately I’ve felt unbalanced as if something were missing. I didn’t feel like I was fulfilling my life. I’ve been saying little prayers lately asking for guidance on what I need to be doing. I thought maybe meditation or yoga would help and when I have time, hopefully in April, I will try out these alternatives. But thinking hard about it I realized the quiet and serenity I’m searching for comes when I’m doing Tae Kwon Do. (Excluding testing, because as you know I freak the f*ck out) The kicking, punching, blocking and breathing shelters me from the world. It’s where I find my peace and also my frustration. When I say frustration I mean it challenges me, pulls me a little farther out of my comfort zone. Tae Kwon Do gives me satisfaction as well as the mental stimulation I crave. It also makes me feel strong, confident and independent. Just recently, my dad confided in me that Grand Master wants me to have my black belt by December. This is huge news, Grand Master Kil, has in all honesty earned the title of “Grand Master” from all the experience and knowledge he holds:
Grand Master Sang Sop Kil is one of the highest ranked black belts in the world of Tae Kwon Do. His credentials and reputation are world renowned. He is a 10th degree black belt, certified by the World Tae Kwon Do Federation. Grand Master Kil has more than 40 years of experience in teaching, studying and researching Tae Kwon Do. He is an International Master, Instructor, Coach and Certified Referee. He was the Korean National Champion between the years of 1965 and 1968. He was also a U.S. Army combative instructor from the years 1962 to 1980.
I saw Grand Master after my dad had told me that. I didn’t mention anything to him because it’s a little scary to have to jump belts like that. You are talking quickly learning everything for Senior Red Belt and moving to the “temporary black belt” which is half red, half black. This belt alone you are supposed to wear for six months to a year. There is even more in store. Grand Master told me personally he wants me to compete at the State Tournament in April. (And also the Governor’s Cup Tournament.) It’s less than a month away. I will have to learn my new form and perfect it in 28 days. He took me aside and gave me half the form I am to learn, making sure to correct every move I make. He is leaving for Korea and will be gone a week. When he comes back he wants to work with me some more. If I am going to do this, achieve this, I will need to really take this sport seriously. Which I can and actually want to. It’s amazing that the Grand Master would have so much confidence in me, even after the nerves I experience during testing. I guess like my Dad, he sees something in me that I don’t. I’ve always wanted to be great at something, but I’ve always been just average. Maybe this is my chance. His hope is that I will win at States and have a bid for Nationals, which is being held in Detroit this July. But I’m not looking that far ahead. Right now all I’m thinking about is States and that’s enough.
