& that's the way life goes

So I got freaked out and password protected my video blog. comment or email me for the password

I’m a huge dork!

I’ve noticed that I haven’t had any neurotic public breakdowns lately.  Well, that’s not true, I just haven’t wrote about them.  I think the cold end of winter months literally drives me more insane than I am during warmer periods.  However, I have had some not so sane thoughts.  So why not share…

• When I get into a creative mood I wonder if I have split personalities, because if not, why can’t I be creative most of the time instead of small doses
• When I get in my car in the morning I wonder if this will be the day my car will explode, break down, get a flat tire
• Logically Scooby has allergies, which would explain his eye running, but I asked C if he thought maybe he was going blind (I covered his one eye and moved my index in front of the other, he seems to see fine)
• Whenever I eat something I haven’t had in awhile (ie steak) I wonder if it’s going to make me sick
• I will be sparring at the tournament on Saturday and all I can picture is someone kicking me in the face and injuring me permanently.  I’m driving myself so who will drive me home if I get knocked out?

Ok that’s enough for one day, I assure you there is more where that came from, but I wouldn’t want to scare you away

Dear Mother Nature,

Please I beg, please…please…please…

We are making the 3.5 hour road trip up north on Saturday. The crazy weather people were calling for rain/snow/sleet. Ok, I get it, spring is not ready to make a full appearance and winter is still kicking ass. The forecast seems more favorable now, just snow and cold with sleet on Saturday evening. I can handle that, we won’t be driving Saturday evening. It’s the in between stuff that really freaks me out. You know the ICE (ie sleet)?! So I am begging and requesting that the forecast as it is now will be true (unless you have even less precipitation in mind).

Please….

I am truly sorry for referring to you as a bitch numerous times. I take it back, you can be so lovely and powerful.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Not a road warrior

I have a purpose for every move I make. Every step I take. I’ll be watching you (haha do you remember that song?). I won’t get up from my desk to take back a file until I have to go to the bathroom. That way there is no energy wasted, I get up walk upstairs to return the file and on my way back to my desk I go pee. I don’t go to the copier until I have something that needs to go downstairs. I don’t walk around my house aimlessly, I pick something up that belongs in the bedroom, walk to the bedroom, put it away and grab something that needs to go back to the kitchen. Getting this? So I had this awesome plan worked out in my head, I know it’s a sickness, I would walk down the street to the ATM to get money out. This way when I came back to my building, I could pay the $1.75 for my mango tea, instead of using my debit card. It also benefited me because I could break the $20 that I would get from the ATM leaving me change in case I needed it tomorrow night at the DAS meeting AND I would also have change for the hair stylist when I get my haircut on Saturday. See the process and neurotic-ness (yes I made my own word)? Well the stupid ATM messed up my entire plan! It was out of money. But I was able to find something of interest for my photo:

Ok, it’s an odd sign…but wait until I tell you what store it’s in front of. The S³ store! If you read my earlier post Safe Sex & Zippers you’ll know what I’m talking about. Gives it new meaning huh?

It’s no secret that my day isn’t complete without something to worry about. It’s in my genes and runs through my blood. It’s highly unlikely I will go one day without something bothering me. Today, or rather it began last night, was that one day my tire was going explode on the freeway. It began last night because yesterday morning I was too preoccupied with following the icy road to Ann Arbor (and it doesn’t matter which one because I heard they were all horrible). Multiple spin outs, crashes and slow moving (10mph). One spin out shut down a stretch of 94E because the couple got out to inspect the damage (um not a smart thing to do) and another car spun out and grazed the man and hit the wife. She was in critical condition and I haven’t heard anything more about it. How awful! (Now can you see why driving in this can lead to panic attacks, dry mouth and shaking…no? Ok then it’s just me) Even at 11am they shut down the freeway again because of all the accidents due to ice. Needless to say, I was a wreck by the time I got to work 2 hours later. Not only is it intensely distressing but it was the year anniversary of smashing my car. I was mentally exhausted by the time I parked the car but had regained strength or got my second wind by 9pm when I left class. Hence, worrying about the tire exploding since the roads were dry. Hey, it’s close enough to spinning out when there is no ice on the road.

To try and calm myself, I asked C this morning what a tire sounded like before it exploded. He proceeded to answer me by making the crazy gesture (you know the one where you point your finger at your head and rotate it) and no he wasn’t making it at me, apparently he was playing the sound in his head and silently humming…Ok Hunny I can’t hear the voices in your head so that’s NOT helping. So he tried again…same thing: Crazy gesture and opening of the mouth but nothing is coming out. I tried to help him asking him if it was the the high pitched noise your tires sometimes make and he looked at me like I was nuts. C has high frequency hearing loss in one ear (uh huh right…I call it selective hearing because “that’s why he can’t hear me sometimes”) so I told him he probably couldn’t hear that when it happened so never mind. In the end nothing got resolved and I spent my 45 minute commute listening to my tires wondering if today was going to be the day I found out what it sounded like before it happened.

Yes, I know I should really talk to someone about my neurosis…