& that's the way life goes

I’m going to apologize for asking this question before I ask it.

I’m sorry.

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What is the point of facebook?

Wait, wait. Before you get all “it’s to connect with people” on me, let me explain my conflicting feelings.

I only send friend requests to people that I know and people that I knew and had a friendship with and we’ve lost touch.  In no way do I want to get involved in the I have 300 friends and am SO cool game.  So I send requests to people in high school I sat with at lunch or remember chatting with in class.  And let me tell you for those people facebook is great. And I friend people that I’m friends with now or hung out with in college.

I’ve seen on my suggested friends people that I remember being assholes or bitches and I have no desire to even know what they are doing.  But what about people in between?

For instance, I joined an alumni for my elementary school just because it seemed like fun at the time.  Going through the members I found LB.  LB lived 4 houses down from my grandma and rumor has it I beat him up before I was old enough to attend kindergarten.  When I switched from private to public school he ended up in my 6th grade class.  In retrospect we had that really cute little-boy-and-girl-have-a-crush-on-each-other relationship.  We walked home from school together, drew on each others’ notes, drove each other crazy, hit one another and called each other names.  Our classmates teased us and we denied “going out”.  On one occasion I remember being in class and all the kids around us were being jerks to LB.  I remember sticking up for him and when they turned on me he stuck up for me.   You have to love 6th grade.  There are other micellaneous stories like how I brought him his homework when he was out of school sick and how I would call and hang up on him.  You know.

And then he did it, he broke my little girl heart at the end of the year when he asked Michelle R out.  (ha she said no!)

We moved onto junior high and then high school.  We were acquaintances then since we didn’t hang out in the same crowds.  Junior year his locker ended up next to mine.  He’d always give me a smile and we’d chit chat occasionally but nothing special.   At prom we had our picture taken together, it’s a cute.

So fast forward to present time, I debated for awhile if I should send him a friend request or not.  Because really? What the hell does it matter?   This is the problem I have with facebook.  I don’t befriend anyone and everyone.  I have to have some type of connection with them or a reason to want to be friends.  LB and I had a connection from years ago but it’s still hard for me to hit send.

It’s not because I’m afraid of what the other person will  think of me and I’m not opposed to sharing my facebook-self with others, so what is it?

I think it’s because I’m lacking a reason.

Does anyone else have this problem?  Or am I just being neurotic and over thinking it?

In junior high and high school I had good friends.  Misplaced Momma and JP (the one I recently met for dinner) .  I don’t even remember how it came about but we became Peace (moi), Love (Misplaced Momma) & Harmony (JP).  Thinking about it maybe it was prompted by a t-shirt I had with that printed on it.

(Shut your face! I was 13 in this picture. And it was cool back then to wear socks with your mary janes   You can barely see the Peace, Love, Harmony print, but it’s there I promise! And if you are curious it was a Valentine’s Day dance and he had his hands on my ass LOL not in this picture but on the dance floor.  I digress…)

I don’t know (obviously my memory isn’t as good as I thought it was) how we picked who was going to be who but ironically these pseudo names fit us perfectly.

I’m one of the most non-confrontational person you will ever meet.   I don’t know how to tell people to their face that they are being an ass (unless I’m really close to you cuz then I have no problems) or that I’m pissed at you for blabbing my secrets.  I’m not spineless I would always stick up for my friends.  I was the peacekeeper.  And if I was mad or hurt by you I’d much rather walk away from the whole situation.

Misplaced Momma was the nurturing one.  She worked in the nursery for her church and always loved babysitting and being around children.  She was the one that would make you feel better when you were having a bad day.  She always had a kind word or something to lift your spirits.

JP was the one that was quick to agree.  She never seemed to be on anyone’s bad side.  She was the model of harmony.  Through high school we drifted apart, not hanging out quite as much.

MM and I still kept our nicknames.  Writing notes to one another addressed as Peace and Love.   We had necklaces and trinkets with our logos on them. This was only the beginning of the nicknames we attached to one another.

Last night I agreed to go to a personal training session with LP.  She works with her trainer at the gym 2 times a week.  I’ve had a personal trainer in the past and it’s really not my thing.  I hate lifting weights.  I have a major aversion to them.  I also just hate the gym period.  It doesn’t work for me.

Working out is kind of like finding a job you don’t hate.  Some people love the gym, others like classes or at home workout tapes, etc.

But I was trooper and I went because she thought it would be fun for us to workout together.  It wasn’t terrible but it’s definitely not something I could do every week or even every month.  I’m pretty excited though because for as exhausted as my arms felt last night from pumping iron they don’t hurt as bad as I feared they would today.  The session also proved that my legs are much stronger than my arms.

In other news, I got my haircut yesterday and I’m getting it colored tomorrow.  I guess I do it backwards, most girls get their hair colored and then cut.  What can I say I like to go against the grain once in awhile.  But the reason I’m telling you this is because I had another awkward moment with someone I went to high school with.  I guess I’m a magnet for it.  And/or people didn’t like me or notice me in school.

So Sandra is the awesome girl that cuts my hair.  She went to get the broom to sweep up all my hair she cut off to make sassy layers and she brings the new girl over to sweep.  (sidenote I go to a salon that has an institute so a lot of the students come to work there after they are done with classes.  They have to observe at the salon  for 3 months before they can start cutting!)  I’m looking at the new girl through the mirror and I’m like that looks like Lindsay and sure enough when she turned towards me I saw her name tag.  Sandra introduces us saying that Lindsay just finished at the institute blah blah blah.  When Lindsay walked away I told Sandra she looked like a girl I went to high school with.  Sandra was like she went to X High School.  Yep, it was the girl I thought it was.  The thing is her hair was blonde in high school and now it’s black.  I on the other hand look the same so at least I have an excuse for not recognizing her   What was her problem haha

Awhile ago I thought I’d try therapy.  It didn’t work out for me because the bitch therapist made me want to punch her in the face.  I’m sure that the person you are supposed to be spilling your guts to shouldn’t be someone you want to murder.  So after the 3rd visit I decided not to go back.

I wasn’t giving up on the idea of therapy but when I called to see if I could see someone else they told me I had to “break up” with my original therapist.

Yeah.  That never happened. I feel mostly stable so until I feel like I might fall apart again I think I’ll just keep on doing what I’m doing.

The reason why I’m telling you this is because something she said to me still irritates the hell out of me and I’d like to get your opinion.

I told her truthfully that I NEVER heard my parents argue.  I never heard my dad raise his voice to my mom and  I never heard her do anything more than a little nagging.  I lived with my parents until my mom died when I was 21.  21 years I never heard them raise their voices to one another.

I think if I ever have children I’d want to raise them in the same environment.  That kids shouldn’t have to listen to their parents fight.

My therapist said, “that because I never heard them fight is why I have a problem with confrontation, I never learned to deal with it.” So basically I had to hear them fight to learn how to deal with it?  What about me fighting with them, I couldn’t learn to deal with it then?

Thoughts? Agree?  Disagree?

I’ve found myself becoming a little bit more girly than I’ve ever been.  I got my hair dyed.  I straighten it in the morning (don’t get the wrong idea, it literally takes me 5 mins).  I even use eyeliner and mascara.   It still only takes me 20 minutes to get ready in the morning because honestly, I’m not a morning person.  My brain doesn’t switch from auto pilot to functioning until about 9am.  People, I get up at 6:30am.

I remember once Misplaced Momma and I read it would be good to put a banana mixture on our faces.  We probably read it in Teen (do they still publish that magazine or did it die and CosmoGirl took over?).   I don’t think the banana mixture did anything for our faces.  I don’t remember what was in it, just that it was a little cold and really gooey.

Apparently it was banana and butter masks...wth were we thinking?

I get a beauty email from Marie Claire periodically.  Most of the time I just hit delete unless I’m intrigued by the article and that kind of takes a lot.  Today’s email was for an olive oil (why do I hear Raychel Raey’s voice saying EVOO in my head when I read olive oil? You know you have a good catch phrase when…)  and lemon hair therapy.

Crash diets are no one’s friend, but every once in a while, we all need a little detox–and that includes our hair. Take it from Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr, who just finished Australian Fashion Week–and had dozens of hairstylists iron, curl, straighten and spray her hair for days on end. She found the secret recipe for restoring her hair’s natural shine and bounce right in her kitchen. “Every night I create what I call my fashion-show concoction: I take one tablespoon of olive oil and a small squeeze of lemon, and put it on my hair before bed,” Kerr says. “It’s an amazing natural hair treatment for dry ends!” Word to the wise: When getting this beauty sleep, don’t rest your head on your favorite pillowcase; this blend can leave a little fruity-smelling residue behind. (I tried to find link to the article, but failed, it’s from Marie Claire‘s newsletter)

I kind of want to try it.  What about you? Have you or do you use a beauty routine that involves stuff from your kitchen?