& that's the way life goes » memories

Perfect card holder/display-er or something

ria — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 01:57:12 +0000

It is funny how little things from my childhood follow me into adulthood without my even noticing.

For instance, I remember helping my mom tape Christmas cards to our door and behold my own front door is where I display my cards.

Getting cards in the mail is one of my favorite things.

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Post tags: Christmas, memories, missing mama

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c and ria story – 1

ria — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 20:45:17 +0000

I saw this over at After I Do and I thought, “hmmmm I never talk about my relationship with C…”. So I thought this was a good way to start. It took a long time (read 3+ years) to get used to saying I’m married. Please don’t ask me why, I don’t have an answer. I’m independent and sometimes a little selfish which I think complicates the whole couple, death do us part, thing. I’m currently working on the labels husband and wife. I’m definitely not a labels kind of girl. I’m more of this is C, not this is my husband, kind of girl. Not because I don’t want people to know he’s mine but because using his name individualizes us. I’m neurotic, I know, they are just words. Speaking of words, I hate hubby and wifey, they make me stabby. Seriously, stab.

I’m going to attempt to complete this list of questions – but c’mon I’m not all that great at finishing what I start, so don’t hold it against me, k?

1. how it all began: how you met, first date, first kiss, how long did you date? first picture together…..etc.

When I was newly 21 my boss (T), who was 18 years older than me and going through a divorce at the time, wanted me to go out with her badly so I agreed. She dragged me to all these dive bars that I had never been to in my life. She lived 30-40 minutes from me so they were all in her neighborhood. All night I kept thinking I saw my douchey ex-boyfriend. At the last bar we parked across the street and as we were walking to the building guess who walks out of the bar next door? Yep, doucheyMcdouch. I walked right past him and pretended he didn’t exist. As soon as my foot hit the inside of our destination I was on my cell phone pacing by the pool table, talking to my BFF while T went to get drinks.

When C tells the story this is when he first noticed me, as one of those ditzy girls that talks on her phone and paces the bar. He was one of the guys playing pool. My head was anywhere but my physical location. I was too busy being in awe of how I was psychic.

T had a nice buzz by this time of night and she was out on the deserted dance floor swaying around to a really awful ABBA cover band. As far as I was concerned this night was a waste and I could not wait to get home to my comfy bed. As she was swaying around I noticed this short bald dude talking and dancing with her while I watched her from my stool at the bar nursing a drink.

The place was pretty empty and C says he felt bad for me and that’s why he came over to chat. I was in no way looking for a boyfriend or even someone to keep my company that night so I was little ~~standoffish~~ bitchy. He continued to get me to talk when these girls in witch costumes came up and started chatting with him, giving me break. Yeah, did I forget to mention that this was the Saturday before Halloween and also the day before what would have been my mom’s 48th birthday. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to him, I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

T stopped dancing to introduce me to C’s friend M that she had been talking with. She begged me to go to another bar with them and I agreed because, why not. C and I kept talking and we danced. He bought me one of the stupid roses that people sell at the bars and we made out in a booth. I was a kissing whore, so making out with a random person was alright by me. I ended up dropping T off at her house and driving C home. I know, real smart, drive a perfect stranger home at 4am. (We had stopped at Denny’s where T kept putting weird shit in someone’s pancakes) Truthfully, I was just praying that he wasn’t some psycho and I could drop his ass off and get home to my bed.

You know how boys aren’t supposed to call you the next day? Yeah, well C did. He was “looking for his friends phone” maybe it was in my car? Yeah. I looked and it wasn’t. I hung up the phone and had a good laugh. He called me back later that day and asked me to his hockey game. I showed up in jeans and a college hooded sweatshirt, after the game he came out in these awful gray dress pants. All I kept thinking was WTF? But he kept making me laugh.

*the picture isn’t the first one of us together but it’s pretty close*

———————————————————-

2. when you knew he was the one: self explanatory.. but how and when did you know?
3. proposal: how it happened, how long were you engaged for? was it a total surprise? pictures of that… etc.
4. the ring: tell us about it! did you pick it out? did he? pictures! tell us about his ring too!
5. engagement/bridal pictures: let’s see em!
6. the colors: show some of the flower and colors you used
7. the dress: was it what you always imagined? did you have it made for you? white or ivory?
8. the little accessories: you know, veil? shoes? jewelry? what did your bridesmaids wear?
9. the reception: where was it at? show us some pictures! what day did you get married?
10. the cake/food: i love food. so tell me about what you had at your wedding!
11. favorite part of the day and least favorite part of the day: can be anything.
12. honeymoon: where did you go? was it good? haha…jk.
13. thoughts on marriage: what is the easiest/hardest part? if you could change anything, what would it be?
14. first place that you lived together: pics if you have them!
15. kids: do you have any yet? if not, when do you plan on it? how many do you want? any tips on good/bad birth control?
16. most recent picture of you and your significant other and what you love most about them and any other thoughts.

© ria for & that's the way life goes, 2011. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: c and ria story, memories

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faux filipina

ria — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:23:49 +0000

♥ Thanks so much for your comments you sent me on Twitter and email. ♥

via kendralynn

After working out, ranting and being completely emo I went into the kitchen set on what I was making for dinner. I hardly ever use my rice maker. I know GASP! I’m Filipino and I pull out the rice maker maybe every couple of months.

I remember joking when I was little that my Dad would get crabby if he didn’t have rice on a daily basis. We’d go up north and he wouldn’t have any for a couple days and his mood was different. When I got older he took me camping and on a propane stove he would make rice. We’d have Adobo and rice for dinner.

I never really identified with the Asian race. I was raised American. I think it was in fear that I would have an accent and be treated differently. My mom was only a quarter Filipino and to my knowledge didn’t identify with being Asian. (I’m 5/8ths btw) When my mom was on dialysis her nurses were Filipino and they insisted I be a part of the Filipino Debutant Ball when I was 16. It was my first true immersion in a culture I knew little about.

It was cliquey and I’ve never felt so out of place in my life. My dad wasn’t a doctor or a lawyer. He worked on Sundays, the Sundays we had practice and all the dad’s came to watch. It was questioned why he wasn’t there.

As I got older I began my own research into a race that intrigues me. I don’t know how to explain it. I feel a part of it sometime and others it’s just foreign to me.

And now that I’m completely off track, the reason for this post is that I was very Asian inspired in my cuisine last night. I made rice and then got my wok out to make lumpia (spring rolls). I’m going to be honest here, I’m a rookie when it comes to making lumpia. I always ruin 2-3 rolls before I get the oil temperature right. I also made fried rice, the way my dad showed me. Though it didn’t taste like his at all.

C my haole, said it tasted just fine. But what does he know I also made some frozen potstickers from Trader Joe’s. I realize that my dinner last night might be totally Americanized Asian but eh, that is what I am!

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the start of the decade

ria — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 17:18:28 +0000

It hit me today that it’s almost 2010. Right, I know what you are thinking, ‘duh Ria!’

Thinking back 2000 was probably my best year yet. Collectively that is. 2000 contained a Millennium party, spring break in Hawaii, prom, high school graduation and the start of college.

All big things in a girls life. But when people say 2000, my first thought is Kik. The parties camping. The time where anything was possible. I was an ‘adult’. I was in limbo. Right of high school and waiting for college. It was 4 months of freedom. Before everything changed. Before I met douchebag, the boyfriend that corrupted my rosy world.

2000 = one of the best years of my life (so far)

So it really should be no surprise that when I actually realized that in a matter of days, it will be a decade ago…well I got sad. A lot sad. Like I want to sob all over the place sad. Well maybe that’s a little drastic. Maybe we get one year every decade that outdoes the rest. If this is true, than that means this decade has a some big shoes to fill!

New Years Eve ©rialeilani

Spring Break ©rialeilani

roadtrip! ©rialeilani

Prom ©rialeilani

Graduation ©rialeilani

fun times ©rialeilani

sad because MM was leaving for CMU ©rialeilani

What are you looking forward to in the next decade? What will you miss?

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Chrismouse Meme

ria — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:23:26 +0000

In honor of Christmas…

The first is the Chrismouse Meme. I was tagged by the sweet Moody Mabel.

The Twelve days of Christmas have been celebrated since medieval times ~ traditionally beginning the day after Christmas Day (now known as Boxing Day) and ending with Twelfth Night. And since the festive season is upon us ~ I thought it might be fun to do a Christmas meme!

Rules:

Copy the delightful Chrismouse picture to your post.
Copy these rules and the explanation of the meme (above).
Link the person who tagged you.
List 12 things: either about a Christmas present or memories about Christmas past (or a mixture of both)
Tag as many or as few people as you like!

Every Christmas Day since I’ve been born has been at my Aunt M’s house. I’m taking it back this year and not going. I actually don’t feel sad about it either.
She used to have this huge camel that me and my 2 cousins would have our pictures taken on every year, until it didn’t exist anymore.
On Christmas Eve we have to sing the 12 days of Christmas before the kids get to open their presents.
My dad used to hide jewelry presents in the tree for my mom to find on Christmas morning.
My dogs and past dogs know how to open presents. My first dog, Poqui, used to know which stocking was his and he would sit in front of it and “guard” it.
Every year my mom and I would make Christmas cookies. Every year she’d get pissed at the spritz press, wipe the dough off the bottom and throw it in the sink. She’d chill the dough some more and eventually the cookies would get made. She went through all the trouble because they were my Aunt D’s favorites. J says she tries to make them but they never taste the same as my mom’s.
Until my mom died I got a present from Santa, I wish I still did.
I love getting cute socks for Christmas.
There was always lip smackers in my stocking. My dad kept up the tradition until a couple years ago.
I used to get to open one present on Christmas eve, they were always pjs.
I love the way the lights twinkle on the houses.
JC told me that he still remembers coming over Christmas morning when we dated in high school. My mom bought him more presents then his family bought him.

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#best09 – book

ria — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:09:33 +0000

I’m participating in Gwen Ball’s Best of 09!

Today’s question:

What book – fiction or non – touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson

I read this book in hours. Seriously hours I couldn’t put it down. I brought it up north with us and the first day we spent relaxing on the beach outside our rented cottage. The weather was warm and I had to keep telling C “stop talking to me I’m reading!’

This picture was taken after I had finished the book, but it’s where I was when I was reading it. And ok, I might have taken a break to do this,

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the time i was a wingwoman

ria — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:38:43 +0000

Wham’s Last Christmas is on my internet radio right now. I have to say this song cracks me up every holiday season.

Back when I was 14 I did something I haven’t done since. I was the wingman (woman). I dated someone because it was convenient. My friend Heather started dating Gumby and when they broke up (much to Heather’s dislike) he started dating Misplaced Momma. His friend D was not attractive, I think he might have been funny which gave him points at first but that wore off quickly because he just became annoying.

Obviously since we were only 14 we didn’t see the boys that much so I think D and I dated for at least 3 months. Ew. He wasn’t even a good kisser and I gave him plenty of chances. He drooled I think. Ugh.

Anyways, D broke up with me right before Christmas. I think I actually laughed. I remember eating dinner when he called. I’m pretty sure I did laugh, which is making me crack up right now. I actually hated him a little bit I just went along with everything because it was easier for MM.

I guess I learned my lesson, I never dated anyone because it was convenient for someone else after that.

Anyways, That song reminds me of D and Gumby. Gotta love the Christmas season!

Speaking of Christmas songs, I’m pretty sure my favorite is Mariah Carey’s All I want for Christmas is you. You know before she was a whore. (hey now, I don’t mind Obsessed and Heartbreaker, but c’mon the lady ghetto’ed out. I much prefer the Always Be My Baby Mariah Carey) It doesn’t matter what mood I’m in that song always makes me want to dance and sing along. It puts me in the Christmas mood. I know right, out of all the Christmas songs that’s my go to song?

The other one that is a MUST HAVE at Christmas is I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas. My mom and I used to make Chrismas cutouts to that song. We’d sing and dance silly. My Papa loved hippos so I think that’s another reason I love this song. When I was decorating our tree last weekend it came on, I like to think my Mom was there helping

What are you favorite Christmas/holiday songs?

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#best09 – restaurant moment

ria — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:12:22 +0000

I’m participating in Gwen Ball’s Best of 09!

Today’s question:

Best Restaurant Moment

Andrew’s on the Corner in Detroit, watching the Wings in the Stanley Cup Finals.

We did shots from the hockey stick and it’s one of the first times in a long time A Panda came out with us!

LP, A Panda, moi, C

© ria for & that's the way life goes, 2009. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: #best09, detroit, memories, red wings

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10ish years

ria — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:04:49 +0000

So I think I told you guys that C accidentally threw out a box of my photo albums when we moved. He did it purely by accident and still feels awful about it. The only thing that kept him alive was that Misplaced Momma has about 85% of my doubles. When I went to visit her a couple weeks ago I brought them home.

This is a HUGE scanning project but at least the pictures will be digital now, right?!

I posted some pictures up on facebook because it’s fun and hey they are on my computer anyways. JC is on my facebook and he has commented how I haven’t changed much in 10 years.

What do you think?

The picture on the right was taken June 1999 for my 17th birthday. The picture on the right is from August 2009. I’m still classy like that.

My hair still does it’s crazy curly thing. The picture on the right was Summer 1998 and the one the left was also August 2009.

How much have you changed in the last 10 years? Let’s see it!

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he was magnetic

ria — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:06:48 +0000

A walk down memory lane…

I’m not a baseball fan, I never have been. But every year when the world series starts I have fuzzy nostalgia. This year was no different and it was little bit more substantial because yet again, the Yankees were in the finals.

I had known Landon since I was 12. I always liked him, he was charismatic and I’m not sure how any could not like him. He was a smooth talker without sounding like one. It’s no surprise that I never let go of the crush I had on him. He was magnetic. Through the years we hung out as friends, giggled on the phone and then didn’t talk for months at a time

Then one day we’d run into each other at someone’s house and it would start up again. I remember hanging out at his friend’s apartment one year and getting drunk and heavily making out on the floor. I didn’t get home until after 5am that morning. I was in my senior year and I still can’t believe my mom didn’t question that one. He took me to see the re-release of the Exorcist at the movie theater. Holy crap I don’t think I slept for a month after watching that movie it was hella scary. It still gives me the goosebumps to think about it. After the movie he asked me to hang out with him on sweetest day but I had plans to go haunted housing with my friends that I didn’t want to break (points for me! I’m shocked I didn’t go!).

Obviously I love reminiscing…back to baseball…

So in my freshman year of college we started hanging out more…doing homework. Yes homework, not code for something else, and I’m not even sure how this started. But I would go over to his house with my government book and he would do his homework while I did mine with the world series (Yankees vs Mets) playing in the background. He made me laugh and we had a weird connection. I think he liked me too (hello he had me over to do homework) but there was a lot of history between Landon, his best friend (J) and I. Making out always seemed acceptable, because hello, it was only kissing.

I was a tease ok? And I say it without shame and damnit I’m proud of it. I didn’t just give it away. I made him wait years. When we were 21 he took a break from his girlfriend and I was newly single after the breakup with my douchebag boyfriend. I have no idea how we had come back into contact with one another. Probably through J (who I had also known since I was 12 and was always close to. And no, despite what all J’s friends think, I never slept with him thankyouverymuch) who I talked to on a regular basis.

Anyhow, Misplaced Momma and I met up with Landon and J at the bar. We were having too much fun so we headed back to Landon’s house. His mom mistakenly thought I was his girlfriend (they were on a break!!) when she had to open the door to let us in because Landon forgot his key. He earned points for telling her it was me. Well, we’ll just say he earned more than just points that night. We hung out once or twice more and then he got back together with the girlfriend.

(I have a thing with girlfriends, they never like me. I think she didn’t because when they first started dating a couple years before all of us were at a bowling alley where Landon got drunk and followed me out to my car and she was trailing behind him. I think she was being kind of bitchy and he kept telling her he’d rather go home with me. Yeah…But I was a saint and told him he was being an ass and to knock it off see she shouldn’t have not liked me)

About a year and a half later he died in a motorcycle accident. His funeral was hours long because there were so many people that wanted to share stories of him. He was magnetic. You couldn’t help but like him.

I still have dreams about Landon. Nothing inappropriate, mostly we just talk. It’s weird how 5 years later I still miss him and I didn’t see him that often. Some people leave deeper imprints on our hearts.

Rest in Peace Landon

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