& that's the way life goes

It is funny how little things from my childhood follow me into adulthood without my even noticing.

For instance, I remember helping my mom tape Christmas cards to our door and behold my own front door is where I display my cards.

Getting cards in the mail is one of my favorite things.

I saw this over at After I Do and I thought, “hmmmm I never talk about my relationship with C…”. So I thought this was a good way to start. It took a long time (read 3+ years) to get used to saying I’m married. Please don’t ask me why, I don’t have an answer. I’m independent and sometimes a little selfish which I think complicates the whole couple, death do us part, thing.  I’m currently working on the labels husband and wife.  I’m definitely not a labels kind of girl.  I’m more of this is C, not this is my husband, kind of girl.  Not because I don’t want people to know he’s mine but because using his name individualizes us.  I’m neurotic, I know, they are just words.  Speaking of words, I hate hubby and wifey, they make me  stabby. Seriously, stab.

I’m going to attempt to complete this list of questions – but c’mon I’m not all that great at finishing what I start, so don’t hold it against me, k?

1. how it all began: how you met, first date, first kiss, how long did you date? first picture together…..etc.

When I was newly 21 my boss (T), who was 18 years older than me and going through a divorce at the time, wanted me to go out with her badly so I agreed. She dragged me to all these dive bars that I had never been to in my life. She lived 30-40 minutes from me so they were all in her neighborhood. All night I kept thinking I saw my douchey ex-boyfriend. At the last bar we parked across the street and as we were walking to the building guess who walks out of the bar next door? Yep, doucheyMcdouch. I walked right past him and pretended he didn’t exist. As soon as my foot hit the inside of our destination I was on my cell phone pacing by the pool table, talking to my BFF while T went to get drinks.

When C tells the story this is when he first noticed me, as one of those ditzy girls that talks on her phone and paces the bar. He was one of the guys playing pool. My head was anywhere but my physical location. I was too busy being in awe of how I was psychic.

T had a nice buzz by this time of night and she was out on the deserted dance floor swaying around to a really awful ABBA cover band. As far as I was concerned this night was a waste and I could not wait to get home to my comfy bed. As she was swaying around I noticed this short bald dude talking and dancing with her while I watched her from my stool at the bar nursing a drink.

The place was pretty empty and C says he felt bad for me and that’s why he came over to chat. I was in no way looking for a boyfriend or even someone to keep my company that night so I was little standoffish bitchy. He continued to get me to talk when these girls in witch costumes came up and started chatting with him, giving me break.  Yeah, did I forget to mention that this was the Saturday before Halloween and also the day before what would have been my mom’s 48th birthday.  It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to him, I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

T stopped dancing to introduce me to C’s friend M that she had been talking with. She begged me to go to another bar with them and I agreed because, why not. C and I kept talking and we danced. He bought me one of the stupid roses that people sell at the bars and we made out in a booth. I was a kissing whore, so making out with a random person was alright by me. I ended up dropping T off at her house and driving C home. I know, real smart, drive a perfect stranger home at 4am. (We had stopped at Denny’s where T kept putting weird shit in someone’s pancakes) Truthfully, I was just praying that he wasn’t some psycho and I could drop his ass off and get home to my bed.

You know how boys aren’t supposed to call you the next day? Yeah, well C did. He was “looking for his friends phone” maybe it was in my car? Yeah. I looked and it wasn’t. I hung up the phone and had a good laugh. He called me back later that day and asked me to his hockey game. I showed up in jeans and a college hooded sweatshirt, after the game he came out in these awful gray dress pants. All I kept thinking was WTF?  But he kept making me laugh.

*the picture isn’t the first one of us together but it’s pretty close*

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2. when you knew he was the one: self explanatory.. but how and when did you know?
3. proposal: how it happened, how long were you engaged for? was it a total surprise? pictures of that… etc.
4. the ring: tell us about it! did you pick it out? did he? pictures! tell us about his ring too!
5. engagement/bridal pictures: let’s see em!
6. the colors: show some of the flower and colors you used
7. the dress: was it what you always imagined? did you have it made for you? white or ivory?
8. the little accessories: you know, veil? shoes? jewelry? what did your bridesmaids wear?
9. the reception: where was it at? show us some pictures! what day did you get married?
10. the cake/food: i love food. so tell me about what you had at your wedding!
11. favorite part of the day and least favorite part of the day: can be anything.
12. honeymoon: where did you go? was it good? haha…jk.
13. thoughts on marriage: what is the easiest/hardest part? if you could change anything, what would it be?
14. first place that you lived together: pics if you have them!
15. kids: do you have any yet? if not, when do you plan on it? how many do you want? any tips on good/bad birth control?
16. most recent picture of you and your significant other and what you love most about them and any other thoughts.

♥ Thanks so much for your comments you sent me on Twitter and email.  ♥

via kendralynn

After working out, ranting and being completely emo I went into the kitchen set on what I was making for dinner.  I hardly ever use my rice maker.  I know GASP!  I’m Filipino and I pull out the rice maker maybe every couple of months.

I remember joking when I was little that my Dad would get crabby if he didn’t have rice on a daily basis.  We’d go up north and he wouldn’t have any for a couple days and his mood was different.  When I got older he took me camping and on a propane stove he would make rice.  We’d have Adobo  and rice for dinner.

I never really identified with the Asian race.  I was raised American.  I think it was in fear that I  would have an accent and be treated differently.  My mom was only a quarter Filipino and to my knowledge didn’t identify with being Asian.  (I’m 5/8ths btw)  When my mom was on dialysis her nurses were Filipino and they insisted I be a part of the Filipino Debutant Ball when I was 16.  It was my first true immersion in a culture I knew little about.

It was cliquey and I’ve never felt so out of place in my life.  My dad wasn’t a doctor or a lawyer.  He worked on Sundays, the Sundays we had practice and all the dad’s came to watch.  It was questioned why he wasn’t there.

As I got older I began my own research into a race that intrigues me.  I don’t know how to explain it.  I feel a part of it sometime and others it’s just foreign to me.

And now that I’m completely off track, the reason for this post is that I was very Asian inspired in my cuisine last night.  I made rice and then got my wok out to make lumpia (spring rolls).  I’m going to be honest here, I’m a rookie when it comes to making lumpia.  I always ruin 2-3 rolls before I get the oil temperature right.  I also made fried rice, the way my dad showed me.  Though it didn’t taste like his at all.

C my haole, said it tasted just fine.  But what does he know   I also made some frozen potstickers from Trader Joe’s.  I realize that my dinner last night might be totally Americanized Asian but eh, that is what I am!

It hit me today that it’s almost 2010. Right, I know what you are thinking, ‘duh Ria!’

Thinking back 2000 was probably my best year yet.  Collectively that is.  2000 contained a Millennium party, spring break in Hawaii, prom, high school graduation and the start of college.

All big things in a girls life.  But when people say 2000, my first thought is Kik.  The parties camping.  The time where anything was possible.  I was an ‘adult’.  I was in limbo.  Right of high school and waiting for college.  It was 4 months of freedom.  Before everything changed.  Before I met douchebag, the boyfriend that corrupted my rosy world.

2000 = one of the best years of my life (so far)

So it really should be no surprise that when I actually realized that in a matter of days, it will be a decade ago…well I got sad.   A lot sad.  Like I want to sob all over the place sad.  Well maybe that’s a little drastic.  Maybe we get one year every decade that outdoes the rest.  If this is true, than that means this decade has a some big shoes to fill!

New Years Eve ©rialeilani

Spring Break ©rialeilani

roadtrip! ©rialeilani

Prom ©rialeilani

Graduation ©rialeilani

fun times ©rialeilani

sad because MM was leaving for CMU ©rialeilani

What are you looking forward to in the next decade?  What will you miss?

In honor of Christmas…

The first is the Chrismouse Meme.  I was tagged by the sweet  Moody Mabel.

The Twelve days of Christmas have been celebrated since medieval times ~ traditionally beginning the day after Christmas Day (now known as Boxing Day) and ending with Twelfth Night.  And since the festive season is upon us ~ I thought it might be fun to do a Christmas meme!

Rules:

1. Copy the delightful Chrismouse picture to your post.
2. Copy these rules and the explanation of the meme (above).
3. Link the person who tagged you.
4. List 12 things: either about a Christmas present or memories about Christmas past (or a mixture of both)
5. Tag as many or as few people as you like!

1. Every Christmas Day since I’ve been born has been at my Aunt M’s house.  I’m taking it back this year and not going.  I actually don’t feel sad about it either.
2. She used to have this huge camel that me and my 2 cousins would have our pictures taken on every year, until it didn’t exist anymore.
3. On Christmas Eve we have to sing the 12 days of Christmas before the kids get to open their presents.
4. My dad used to hide jewelry presents in the tree for my mom to find on Christmas morning.
5. My dogs and past dogs know how to open presents.  My first dog, Poqui, used to know which stocking was his and he would sit in front of it and “guard” it.
6. Every year my mom and I would make Christmas cookies.  Every year she’d get pissed at the spritz press, wipe the dough off the bottom and throw it in the sink.  She’d chill the dough some more and eventually the cookies would get made.  She went through all the trouble because they were my Aunt D’s favorites.  J says she tries to make them but they never taste the same as my mom’s.
7. Until my mom died I got a present from Santa, I wish I still did.
8. I love getting cute socks for Christmas.
9. There was always lip smackers in my stocking.  My dad kept up the tradition until a couple years ago.
10. I used to get to open one present on Christmas eve, they were always pjs.
11. I love the way the lights twinkle on the houses.
12. JC told me that he still remembers coming over Christmas morning when we dated in high school.  My mom bought him more presents then his family bought him.