& that's the way life goes

I’m trying to figure out how I feel about Sweetest Day.  I guess not much.  I’ve only had one boyfriend that celebrated hallmark holidays like it.  Obviously he’s history so a nice dinner and flowers/candy on a Saturday wasn’t the only thing I need.  He did last most of my junior and senior years of high school though.

Anyhow.  Today was an interesting day.  I had plans to meet my aunts for lunch with J14.  I love my aunts dearly but it’s a little depressing.  They are actually my great-aunts so they have lived very interesting lives and are in their 70′s.  It’s depressing because such bad things have happened to them and are in the process of happening.  My aunt M is living proof that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  She is still as sweet as I’ve always remembered; caring, gentle and kind, even when life keeps throwing her rotten egg after rotten egg.  I honestly left lunch thinking about how much one person can go through and not break.  I hope I inherited her strength and I won’t ever have to use it.

J14 lives about 40 minutes away from me but one of her family members is buried in a cemetery by my house so she asked me if it was ok if we stopped.  It was gorgeous again today.  Plenty of sunshine and blue skies with that hint of fall crispness.  I don’t mind where I am as long as I’m outside.  I would have stopped with her even if it was pouring but the weather made it nice.

I don’t know anyone close to me that is buried in a cemetery.  We walked around looking for the…um…nameplate (? I’m not sure what it’s called since it’s not really a headstone).  Once we found it and cleared it off and I felt the need to clear the leaves from others around it.  It’s sad to see grass grown over obscuring the names of those departed.  So if you have a relative or friend buried in a cemetery you should make time to go down there and clear the debris from their resting place.

I finally got to the cider mill but have yet to drink my cider.  I went for a jog at the park and it was beautiful and refreshing.  Sometimes I wish I could just run a little faster, a littler farther.  Secretly, maybe I just want to run away and not look back.

I went jogging the other night with C.  It’s was a little humid and I was not on my A game. I kept getting cramps in my side.  I was crabby because before we went to jog we played an hour and a 1/2 of tennis.  I sucked ass.  No really, I’m not exaggerating my backhand blew.  UGH I get irritated thinking about it.  So I’m jogging, I’m crabby from tennis and now I keep getting fucking cramps in my sides.  Are you fucking serious?  ARGH!  So we come out from the trail and on to the path.  I have sweat dripping down my neck and all of a sudden something lands in my eye.  MY EYE!  It’s stinging.  C is way up ahead of me and I’m starting to panic.

There is a bug in my eye!  So I cautiously rub IT a little thinking the bug might just fall out.  But I got more sweat in my eye than anything else and it starts to burn!  TO BURN!  Finally, C turns around and nonchalantly jogs back to me.  We both have our headphones on and can’t hear one another so we don’t bother talking.  He looks in my eye and sticks his BIG FAT FUCKING FRED FLINSTONE FINGER IN MY EYE!  IN MY EYE!  So I yell at him because HELLO YOUR BIG FAT FUCKING FINGER is hurting my eye.  Not to mention that he has sweat dripping down him so there is more salty sweat in my eye.  IN MY EYE!  Needless to say he gets pissed and runs off.  I’m frustrated, crabby and the bug is still in my eye.  So what do I do?  I start to cry in the middle of the path.  Partially hoping this will dislodge the little bugger since I have no idea where in my eye it is.  UGH!  I get a hold of myself, in reality I only shed like 2 5 tears and then ran the rest of the way back to the car where I proceeded to get yelled at for being a cranky byotch.

HELLO, THERE WAS A FUCKING BUG IN MY EYE AND YOUR FAT FUCKING FRED FLINSTONE FINGER WAS HURTING MY EYE!