author: rialeilani category:
girl thoughts
I’m curious to know if you have a person in your life (a friend, relative, acquaintance) that consistently makes you feel like an airhead. Not on purpose, maybe it’s just my perception of our conversation (even though they are for the most part online). I know I do and I’m meeting him and his wife while they are in town this week.
I don’t know it’s just like every time I talk to him I read something wrong and respond in a ridiculous way. I have a feeling this is because…
- I met him when I was 18. He is 4 years older than me.
- We had some downright dirty IM chats for more than a year when I was a student worker.
- He might have set it up (read called my boss and said he needed help) so I could go into an abandoned office to makeout with him.
- When I moved back from Florida he became my boss.
- He gave me a glowing recommendation when I found my current position.
Haha so funny. Haven’t really thought about that in a long time. While we are on the subject of old co-workers…
When we picked up the bunkbeds for the cottage it meant driving out to St. Claire Shores. I haven’t been there since I stopped talking to JT. JT and I met when at the beginning of freshman year of college. We worked down the hall from one another as student workers. We didn’t become closer friends until probably sophomore year. Long story short we were always trying to get together in a normal relationship kind of way but the universe kept shutting us down.
Our first date was to meet a friend of mine in Canada. We both got pretty buzzed (when he woke up with a hangover the next day his dad commented that maybe he shouldn’t have drove home…lol) but he refused to kiss me when I dropped him off at his car on campus. Confused, he later told me because he didn’t want our first kiss to be like that.
I’d have a boyfriend so he would back off and remained friends. Sometimes it was harder than others but we never hooked up while either of us was in clear relationship status.
I’d take a break from the boyfriend and we would pick back up with the flirting, stealing kisses in empty offices, having sex on a desk after everyone had left for the day (you’ve done that right?!)
This went on for 3-4 years. We just couldn’t get it to work. There were a lot of parties, shared cigarette breaks, he was the one I needed a hug from when my mom passed away. I still remember him opening his arms up to me in the hallway of our office. We watched each other grow.
We had another co-worker, HP (6 years our senior), that sat through our little escapades a lot and offered advice. In her words she was like our big sister <— keep this in mind for the twist in my story –
I met C and we moved to Florida after graduation. At my first job I had AIM and would chat with my former co-workers. To this day I can’t put together why I pushed JT on his friendship with HP. I even went so far as offering the solution of them moving in together because they both wanted to move out. I kept pushing trying to find out what was going on. I think deep down I knew they were dating, how I knew is a mystery.
When Florida didn’t work out and I came home, they were dating. To make it even more awkward, I found out through someone else. And to add to it, I had taken a temporary position in the same department.
HP was no longer my “big sister”. She was awkward and rude to me. I hadn’t done anything. To this day I can only think that her pushing me away had to do with her guilt. I found a job 3 months later. After a year or so I emailed her asking if we could do dinner to catch up. She replied she was going on vacation and she’s get in touch with me when she got back. She didn’t.
She got deployed and I heard rumors that were confirmed that her and JT had gotten married before she left. This was 4 years ago. I’m over the hurt I felt, the betrayal and the shunning. A piece of me still wants to reach out, make peace and catch up. She was a huge part of my life.
What would you do? Let it go? Put yourself out there and send an email?
*After writing it out and reading a few of the comments I received I realized that I don’t actually want to connect with her. Maybe I’m just being nosy. I want to know what the two of them are up to. 
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Warm nights † Reading † Wakeboarding † Cold Beer † Sangria † Guacamole † Campfires † Sunshine † Silence † Pitch Black skies with sparkling stars † Girl Trips! 
