(via deviant art)
I was thinking about filling out this goal worksheet. But every time my pen pencil (because it’s erasable duh, I change my mind frequently) touches the paper I completely blank out.
What do I want?
Sometimes I look at my life and I think, “Really, this is it?” and I’m only 27. Am I allowed to think that already? I mean, is that legal?
I know I don’t want babies yet, or ever.
Oh side story. I opened up my amazing presents on Christmas and I got Rosetta Stone the Tagalog exercises. I’ve wanted this forever and was a totally sweet gift from C because it means he listened to me. That he wanted to get me a thoughtful gift and not something off my mile long Christmas list.
I’m all excited thinking that I’m definitely going to learn my dad’s language (though he doesn’t speak it anymore and wants to borrow Rosetta Stone when I’m done) and I have this thought. C and I agreed that if we ever had kids we would learn Tagalog and German (our heritages) so we can teach them. Granted, I’m sure we wouldn’t speak it fluently but hey any level of knowledge is a good base to start from right? I asked him if this meant he wanted babies because if he did we’d have to return it. HE LOOKED HORRIFIED. Clearly, he didn’t think about that when he bought it. 
Back to my whining…
What I want is to have a full blown passion for something. Yes, I love taekwondo but not enough. I think about my love for bully breeds and remember that I have a really hard time getting to the shelter. I’m not much of a leader, I’m not going to start something and get people to follow my lead. And most of the time I don’t mind it. I can be fickle and restless, it’s just part of my personality.
I want to be creative but I feel stifled and lack guidance. I’m really big on guidance, I don’t know why. I guess I need someone to show me a path to get me started. It’s a given I’ll deviate from it.
I want to be better organized, but not clutter free. Does that make sense?
So any ideas you have to help get me started in any of these things would be appreciated. And I know you have ideas. I read your blogs and sometimes I sit back, cross my arms and totally sick my tongue out at you. Because it seems like you have it figured out.
For the LOVE, I can’t even decorate my house. I did one room and it’s ok. It’s the room that we don’t use. OK, I’m sure you get my point.
/whining
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9 Responses to “really, this is it?”
ooo organization! I look at Crate and Barrel for ideas
(then you know, shop at Target cuz it’s way cheaper!)
I’ve got nothing for you here. I make act like I have it together (sometimes), but I don’t. I am rather organized though. I could help you with that. As long you don’t mine me going all hyper crazy organizer on you
\\ can I join you in that whining?
.-= Jenni´s last blog ..Did you miss me? =-.
I don’t have any kind of passion for ANYTHING right now – except perhaps sleeping – so I can totally identify, but can’t really provide any guidance as a result. Sorry.
May 2010 be the year we both find our big passions.
It sounds like you are looking ot be specialized… but why? Specialization is for insects! Love what you do. Do a million things. Be interested in everything! Who cares? Not everyone was meant to find ONE thing to do. You seem to have a lot of things. That mroe than makes up for not having a singular passion.
.-= Lorien´s last blog ..How to stay thin. Really. =-.
just discover. explore. i’ve learned so much just by giving myself goals last year. it’s really improved my life. true, i wish i were more artistic, [insert blank here].. but i AM those things and just need to be content w/ the fact that just bcos i’m not necessarily painting with a passion, that i’m not artistic. i’ve just found other ways to channel that and i’m ok with it.
I’m a list kind of gal. I have to make a list of things to do to accomplish all the things I have to do… and when all else fails, I head to Ikea
maybe 2010 is the year to check out some random, fun, interesting classes at your local community center… to try out different things. maybe you’ll find you’re interested in something you hadn’t even thought of!
I like to make lists of things I’ve already done.
-brush my teeth? Check
-remember my keys? Done
-put on clean underwear? Well, there’s always tomorrow.
My advice – start small. Then build up.
Well, since you like inspiration and guidance, I would start looking at DesignSponge.com. They have an RSS feed. Just start looking at their daily posts and see something creative as far as a project goes and use it as an inspiration. They have decor, handicrafts, food, organization etc for creativity, which kind of helps you for inspiration for those goals you set forth.
It’s hard to have a motivation to aspire to certain goals if your goals are really vague. You need to figure out what you want to accomplish in a creative vein. Do you want to make pictures? Do you want to make house hold decorations? Do you want to paint, draw, cook, bake? For decor, do you have a certain aesthetic you’re approaching? Do you have a set budget? Do you know what type of materials you want your house to have?
If you set general goals like you have, that’s good, but without a clearer picture of what you want out of them, you’ll never attain those goals, because you have nothing concrete to shoot at.
I would also start following some fashion blogs because some of them may give you a creative edge.
Also, look at Ikea catalogues and Crate and Barrel catalogues and you will see how they organize. There is a way to be organized, but keep your many knick knacks hidden and out of sight. Take those things you see in Design Sponge (they have daily house reveals so you can see how interior designers keep their house organized), and then go to Target or Marshalls or TJ Maxx and do your best to imitate the organization and decor you see there.
Inspiration boards are fantastic. I keep it all in my reader.
.-= Mae´s last blog ..Maeko Loves #3: Family =-.