I have a pretty long commute which leads my mind to wander. Sometimes I make up stories and conversations in my head (this is normal right? right!) and others I ponder life questions.
Yesterday I got to thinking about children, which isn’t surprising since I’m at the age where some of my friends are starting families. I was never the little girl dreaming about my wedding dress, actually my friends (you know who you are!) and I were the ones making our Barbies have sex, not get married. Sure I played house but honestly how realistic is that? Maybe I just don’t have that nurturing gene.
Is that something that you always have or is it something you acquire as you get older, like wisdom?
It’s weird right now, there is a huge gap between the friends that have families and the ones still trying to find their way. Like always, I feel like I’m in the middle. Yes I’m married and have a house but there are no plans for the pitter patter of feet now or maybe ever.
I came to the conclusion in my car that I am just beginning to find myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin. I have no inkling to want to change that. For the first time in my life I feel that I am where I need to be. I fell into a job that I actually enjoy (really I fell into it and I always thought people were full of shit when they said that) and I feel like I’m almost to the point of being able to express myself without a second thought of what anyone else thinks (for better or for worse).
Why would I want to change that? And if I’m not fully comfortable with myself, how would I ever care for a child? Not to mention I like being able to do things on my time. Shooooooooooooooot, I get crabby sometimes having to figure out my schedule according to C’s, cuz you know we do have 3 dogs that need caring for.
I also want to be able to spend money (somewhat) frivolously on dying my hair, clothes, patio sets and travel instead of formula and diapers.
When people say that they are ready to start a family I feel odd. Am I missing something? Obviously I have different priorities and there is no right or wrong answer. I’d like to wear a sign that says ‘please don’t ask me when I’m having kids’, we are sick of being badgered. It’s like we’ve been married for 2 years so the next thing is a family. Please. There is so much out there to discover. It may be rude, but kids right now would just hold us back.
If we decide to have kids that is way down the road. I’m sure I’ll be at least 35, which is crazy because that means that my best friend’s kid will be 8 and A’s kids will be 11 and 8. So crazy.
Here’s to making your own choices, finding your own way and making mistakes to learn from along the way.
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11 Responses to “i wish they would just stop asking”
I’m glad I’m not the only woman out there completely disinterested in children. I don’t find them cute, or adorable, and I’m not sure why people think it’s okay for people to question when a couple is going to have kids, it’s not. If I want to tell you when I’m going to have kids, I will volunteer that information myself. I’m also not sure why people think all women must want to have kids. It’s okay for a man not to want children, but when it’s a woman, there must be something wrong with her… what a double standard.
Wow. That was therapeutic!
You’re definitely not the only one, I’m not married or thinking about kids AT ALL but I’ve never been the girl to dream of my future with my perfect wedding and romance and kids and all that. If I were to play with barbies today, you better believe they’d still be humping!
SLG’s last blog post..Rolling Stone: The Liberation of Adam Lambert.
I actually despise most kids. They’re brats for a reason. I am disinterested, but the man i’m with… you know, the guy who doesn’t actually have to go through pregnancy… wants them. So… shit.
No guy doesn’t want kids, while more women see them as a hinderance to their dreams (me included) and I would be okay living for myself, no children. I don’t want them, but who knows… maybe after deployment, I might plop out one just so he has something to play with while I keep writing, reading, and blogging.
Kat Argonza’s last blog post..Tough Girls, please give Advice
haha i make up conversations when i’m in my car too. like what would i say if i ever encountered that person again? etc. and kids? yeah not sure i’ll ever be at the point where i will say “I’m ready” for kids. like you- i’d rather have the money for myself. lol. a girl needs her nails and hair done, not to mention vacations and nice house upgrades (you know- when i’ll eventually look into buying a house). it’s not that i never want kids… i’m just at that same point where i finally like myself and life is content right now. i have always said i dont think i’ll be ready until i’m at least 30. (although sometimes I get jealous of young families, because when their kids are old- they’ll still be the young cool parents.) hmm…. but yeah- overall- kids? can wait.
Reinventing Amy’s last blog post..States away…
I think for me, I’m ok with having kids thing but not the getting pregnant part. I would love to adopt a child one day (hopefully in the very distant future, and not on an impulse kinda thing… which I’m known to do from time to time. hehehe).
Pregnancy on the other hand freaks me out. The constant peeing, not being able to touch my own toes, stretch marks, hormonal changes, and not to mention that huge belly… freaky!
Perky’s last blog post..ToughGirls Vlog: Why Take the Fighting Art?
Shannon said it!! I feel like that! Everyone I know, knows that J and I have been together for almost 7 years and they badger us about getting married. I don’t WANT TO! And I don’t want children.
Look, in like, 10 years I may feel different and that’s cool. But I’m pretty sure that I’m going to be one of those people that only like their own kids. I don’t find ALL babies cute.
And also why do people think that after marriage a baby comes? Why should it work like that?
sleepyjane’s last blog post..The best thing ever
i know what you mean! ^-^
kj and i planned not to think of having kids in the first 2 years of our marriage. friends and relatives, could not understand that. some people just make me feel that i have to apologize for how i live my life, and it’s making me sick.
i would still want to be a mother though. not now or in the near future, but perhaps later. ^-^
odette’s last blog post..officially summer!
I often wonder if I will have children. I LOVE kids and when I see babies I get marginally excited but not necessarily in the omg, i must have one now kind of feeling!
Maybe I’ll be a better aunt than a mother?
Maybe I won’t want one once I’m finally settled down.
I have no idea, but I think that it’s more than okay to not know if you want children! Enjoy your life =)
Nora’s last blog post..Where seatbelts are the law but sex sells on the street
great post! probably not surprising, but I really could skip the family thing too. i will accept whatever life has to offer whether that be with man, woman, kids or on my own. i don’t feel strongly either way as to whether or not i want kids..
floreta’s last blog post..Confessions of a Groupie
I’m not married or even close to it, and my little brother asked me when I would have kids. My stomach turned. It’s not that I’m disinterested in having children. I love kids, but it’s definitely not on my mind right now!
Britt’s last blog post..Where’s Waldo? Oh, He Took Rich Uncle Pennybag’s Battleship to Candyland to Find Stretch Armstrong.
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