Did you participate in Blog Secret? I did and here is the secret I was given to post….
Visit Nilsa’s for a list of other participating blogs (PS she was totally awesome for organizing this!)
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The first day I walked into the office and saw him, I had one thought: “I’m going to sleep with him.”
I was living with my boyfriend, who had recently told me he wanted to move out. He had a girlfriend of almost two years. The attraction was raw, like nothing I had ever experienced before. I was naïve, but that was what drew him to me. As for me? I was just drawn to that attraction.
And I knew he felt it, too. It started with our legs touching at happy hour. Suggestive emails were exchanged throughout the work day. We wouldn’t look at each other. Any touch was electric. For two months, it was just flirting. Sexual flirting, but innocent enough.
One day, I needed a ride to pick up my car at the garage and I asked him to take me. This was the first time we really got to talking outside of work and the conversation was charged with sexual tension. From then, the emails were even more intense. He challenged me to step up to the plate. I’d retort that I’d follow his lead.
The Friday before Memorial Day, we were at happy hour, following a day full of sexual emails. We left and I was following him to get to the highway. My phone rang. “Follow me,” he said. I did.
I followed him back to the parking garage at work. We parked in the basement level and I climbed into his front seat. We started talking and I wondered if it was going to happen.
“I told you to make the first move,” he told me.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
“Of what?”
“Well the possibility of rejection always exists,” I said, even though I knew it really didn’t at this point.
“Silly girl,” he said and leaned over and we kissed for the first time. His hands started wandering up my shirt. He unbuttoned my pants and the making out became hot and heavy. He undid his pants and climbed on top of me. My right knee banging against the car door, we had the most intense, amazing sex of my life. It was forbidden, it was wrong on so many levels, but that made it even more electric.
“This is going to change everything,” he told me.
“I know.”
And it did. I craved sex with him from that point on for years. He became my booty call, and me his. Just a simple text message and he’d come over. My boyfriend had moved out shortly after that night, although he never knew about it. About six months later, he broke up with his girlfriend, and hasn’t dated anyone since.
We’ve had sex on and off for five years. There were times when we would do it every other week or so. We never talked about other people. He never stayed the night. We would lie together afterwards and talk, though. During the entire time we’ve been doing it, we’ve also worked together. He never told anyone about our relationship, and neither did I. In fact, I’ve lied to people, I’ve denied it, I’ve come out and said he wasn’t attractive at all.
I’ve had very good friends never know about this relationship. I’ve had boyfriends during this time never know about that relationship. If I was seriously dating a guy, I would stop sleeping with him. But if the relationship ended, the text messages would start again.
I know eventually I’ll have to give this up, but I’m scared. It’s a safety blanket, knowing someone will always be there to fulfill my needs. Someone will find me attractive and desire me enough. Granted, this isn’t someone I’ll ever be in a real relationship with, but that’s okay. I just wonder if I’ll ever be able to find a real relationship because I’m enjoying this so much.
It scares me how easy it is to keep a secret. It scares me how easy it is to have this illicit relationship. It scares me how easy it can be to just lie. And it kind of makes me wonder who else is having this kind of relationship. Who else is doing this and can’t talk about it anywhere?
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i say…..enjoy it while you have it…and dont be ashamed!
savor it while it lasts!
A booty call is what it is – a booty call… have fun with it! If you’re already sure you’d stop if you met someone serious, then you’ve got nothing to lose!
I think the fact that you’ve already recognized your fear is healthy. As long as you are happy, not sacrificing what you want in life, then enjoy.
I don’t know if this is comforting or not, but you’re not the only one with a story like this. And I know how much fun that can be. Thanks for sharing!
this was definitely a juicy secret ;D thanks for sharing!
I never understood why people have such a hang up about sex. I almost started quoting George Michael, but the point is valid. It’s fun. Enjoy it.
God gave you the ability to orgasm, so why shouldn’t we?
Great secret! And I am certain that there a similar stories out there. Thanks for sharing.
Crazy, but good secret! I have so many, but even these anonymous sites still freak me out to share any! Glad you did!
That is one steamy secret.
Too many people have hang-ups about sex. If you can have it, why not, right? The only time I think it’s not a good idea is when it gets too messy or complicated if emotions get involved… like when it could interfere with you moving on to find a real relationship with someone that fulfills your every need and you won’t need him.
I’m just saying, keep on booty calling, but make sure you’re not discounting potential real relationships because you’re having too much fun with this guy.
Wow. That was hot. Ha. It sounds like it’s been a clandestine five years, and if the secret isn’t really hurting anyone (besides, maybe your close friends who don’t know – but really, it doesn’t HURT them), then it’s not too dangerous to continue the relationship. Unless, like Jenn said, you’re discounting real relationships for Mr. Booty Call.
Again, hot.
Wow – excellent secret! But I’m wondering the same thing – is Mr. Booty call not relationship material? Because if the sex is still that good five years in maybe you’re pretty darn compatible and missing out on something else. Good luck!
5 years is a long time. Maybe exploring the option of more is possible? Maybe the booty call is enough for both? Maybe it will end when you are both ready? It’s your life–and you’re only here once—right???
Hot. Hot. Hot.
If this situation is keeping you from having a real relationship with someone, it might be time to consider saying goodbye. If not, what’s the harm?
Wow! Look – as long as you’re ok with the hot secret amazing sex, have at it! If you start to feel like something is lacking, then maybe reconsider. But in the mean time – you are a grown up and are fully capable of making your own decisions. And there’s NOTHING wrong with making the decision to have great sex!
Great secret but I am a bit confused? Why wouldn’t you want something to work out with this guy given that you are both still footloose and fancy-free?
I love this secret. Don’t feel bad, there is nothing wrong with what you are doing, you aren’t hurting anyone. Hopefully when the right person comes along it will be easy to let this go.
what a great secret. I would think the moment you start over analyzing it, is the moment it will lose it’s simple meaning. so enjoy it and you will know when it is the right time to stop.
Wow, what a secret. I think you just acted on something that people agonize with on a daily basis.
Seriously hot secret! And I’m with the others who say that unless he’s keeping you from pursuing real relationships (and as long as you two are safe, which might go without saying), then go get your hot amazing sex whenever you want it! I love the 21st century.
And also? I’m certain you’re not alone.
That’ll teach me to read blogs at work! Steamy…
As long as you’re not hurting other people, go for it. That kind of sex shouldn’t be passed up.
Wow I’m impressed you’ve been able to A) work together and keep it under wraps and B) date other people.
Thanks for sharing your story! It was like reading a quick dirty novel!
I agree with Endless Randomness, I’m a little confused too. Are both of you single at the moment?
If you are, maybe you should consider something “more”, it might surprise you and work out better than you expect it to.
I think the only thing wrong in this situation is that you’re denying yourself enjoyment. Why can’t you enjoy your time with him? There are plenty of people in the world who find enjoyment with others without the commitment of a relationship. If you’re both consenting adults, why not enjoy your time together?
I’d say just keep it while you can. I’m guessing that you are young, so be young and live a bit. Settle down when the time comes. (:
I remember those days — the booty call quasi-boyfriend who you couldn’t wait to hear from again.
I miss it sometimes. I wish I could re-meet my husband sometimes just to feel how hot it was in the beginning.
Take your knickers off or keep ‘em on. Whatever you do, just have fun doing it.
I had one of these for a long time. We were never involved with anyone while we were hooking up, and I would never call him if I was serious with someone. Oh my goodness, it was so HOT!
I’m in a pretty serious relationship now but admit that every now and again I miss my booty call buddy.
I just wonder if I’ll ever be able to find a real relationship because I’m enjoying this so much.
Funny, that’s what I was wondering throughout the entire post. I hope it doesn’t. I hope when you find that right someone the sex is wonderful, the everything is so amazing that you can’t even imagine going back to him.
But I can’t help but wonder.
juicy secret!
Five years is a long time for anything… so it is impressive that the two of you have made in work in your own way. Perhaps it is the fact that it is secret that keeps it so spicy.
Wowowow, juicy- but nothing to feel ashamed about. Rock on sister!
Wow! Very juicy.
As long as no one is truly ‘cheating’…rock on with your bad self!!!
I know all too well how easy it is to carry a secret for several years. You only live once — live life as you define it, not as others define it for you.
Me too…13 years now. I only see the guy a few times a year cuz we live miles apart. I almost scares me how easy it is for me to lie to get out of the house or town to see him.