I took a walk at lunch today. Fall is definitely in the air with it’s crispness mixed in with the warmth from the sunshine. The smell of leaves is faint but welcoming. If only this season didn’t lead to winter. While I was walking I was taken aback at the profound thoughts I had. (Do I use the word profound too much?)
It started of about me wondering what I look like through other people’s eyes. Not physically, but emotionally or spiritually. Does that make sense? Would what I think about myself be conveyed by others? And how would the lists be different from person to person. You know, how would my dad’s list be different than C’s and how would C’s be different from IC’s and how IC’s list would be different from L Pizza’s or A Panda’s and what would lists of past people I knew look like? (I know self-absorbed much?)
This also led me to think about my friends and how I would describe them. There are a handful of people I’m thinking about and I wonder how my list would measure up to a list of their own.
Also, I recently commented on Java Queen’s post asking what Love Is. I procrastinated on saying anything there because sometimes I feel stilted on what love is. But I realized one thing that is certain is that love is bringing out the best in someone. I wish I could let words just tumble out but I’m not that comfortable with it yet.
The problem with all of this is I get to deep for myself and I start to feel overwhelmed by my thoughts. Suffocated even. What the hell kind of reaction is that? I should mention though that I feel lighter than I did before my walk. So even though my thoughts can make me want to run away from myself, positive things happen.
In the thirty minute walk here is my short list of who I am through my own eyes I came up with:
loyal
reliable
stubborn
flighty
dramatic
needs reassurance
nature lover
athletic
introvert
creative
…
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hi ria, you got a nice self assessment here, it’s a fair list right? i should try that. thanks for sharing
it hink we all go into that “introspection” phase. when i was younger, i always have a journal because it has always helped me to put my thoughts into paper. there were so many things running on my head, and i know i must confront those monsters before i go crazy. putting it all down has helped me come to terms with the things that i can’t change, and the things that needed attention and work. it’s a process needed for growth and maturity, and in the end, you’ll find yourself stronger and better. you are very intelligent and sensible, you’ll get through it in no time.
You have wonderful qualities and I love that you put loyalty first. I’m big on loyalty.
amazing traits
Ria, I already knew all of these, but there’s more….I can add that you have a GREAT sense of humor, you are beautiful inside and out, great at venting and ranting (that is a talent, my dear), and intelligent!