I’m so fucking angry right now. Actually that’s not true. I was for like 5 minutes but now I’m just indifferent. For those of you that read my posts about my ‘grams’ (here and here) this is the conclusion.
She called me twice on my mom’s birthday, and I wasn’t ready to talk to her. She called me again last night and again this morning. I was at tae kwon do last night and not at my desk this morning. I was going to sit down and write a letter today but because I AM the bigger person, I called her back. This was our conversation:
g: where are you at?
me: I’m at work
g: so you can’t talk
m: not really
g: so why are you ignoring my calls? is this how it’s going to be? you don’t want to talk to me?
(please keep in mind she is not some nice elderly lady. her voice is filled with sarcasm and neediness. also i called her crying on Labor Day and she never returned my call. she just happens to find my number on my mom’s birthday when she’s probably feeling an emptiness now that her daughter is gone)
me: I’m busy, much like you were too busy while you were here to see me
g: oh no. you didn’t make any effort to come see me!
(OMFG are you serious?! I tried on 3 different occassions to try and work something out with her until i finally decided to give up. Not to mention that C’s dad died during the middle of her stay here)
me: you had a car! I called you!
g: so this is how it is?
me: yes I’m done
g: ok bye (hangs up)
I’m pretty sure this isn’t what normal grandmothers are like. They aren’t this self absorbed. I’ve had plans to meet my cousin T for dinner tonight. I hope that the topic of ‘grams’ doesn’t come up. C thinks I should say something to T so maybe she can talk to ‘grams’. But you know what? I don’t care enough to want someone to show her my point of view.
As far as I’m concerned I haven’t had a grandmother since my surrogate Grandma died when I was 15. She babysat me every day from the time I was 6months to 12 years. She was a grandmother: warm, loving, kind. She baked me cookies, held me when I cried, let me talk about my problems (even when she knew I was in the wrong), she apologized when she was wrong and she never made me feel nonexistent.
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The last paragraph. That’s what real grandmothers feel like.
I’m sorry you have to go through this. This is terrible, especially when she’s the closest blood connection you have to your mum. But you know what? You have memories of your mum, and those are more important that blood relations, especially when blood ties cut themselves on their own.
You don’t need your gram. She sucks.
::hugs::
well at least you gave it an honest try.
I’m so sorry. Sending some love your way! At least you know in this situation you were the bigger person!
At least you can say you had a grandmother. Your surrogate grandmother sounds like the type everyone should have.
I’m sorry you had to go through this, but at least you gave it every effort you could. Sending lots of hugs!
Look on the upside, this saves you from having to write a letter?
i hope someday you’ll patch things up. cheer up! you are still lucky to have a kind surrogate grandma, i think that would suffice.
I’m glad you at least had your surrogate grandma to see how sweet grandmas can be! It really sucks, but it’s got to a point where I can see you getting over it, I’m happy for that
Hope you didn’t let her ruin your day or your week!
i’m sorry you are dealing with such drama. it sounds like you need to focus on what is best for you and maybe with time and maturity (on her part) you can try and reconnect again…for now, take care of YOU.
{{hugs}} So sorry that you have to deal with this honey!
Well, that is sure a crappy way to start the day, but at least it is over with. Don’t let her ruin the rest of your day! Keep your head up girlie!
aw i’m so sorry. this just sounds so frustrating