& that's the way life goes

I’m a little lot shy so email me for the password for my first vlog.  *blushes

I’m ashamed.  I really am.  I don’t want to admit it.  I had a little bit of a melt down where I might have acted like a 16-year-old girl.  I’m not proud of it.  My ramblings, which are best kept in my private journal, escaped in an email.  Of course it was an email to the bestie, but really, should I let my crazy out in public.  Probably not.

Are you wondering what it means to be a 16-year-old girl?  Well it’s something like this.  You second guess everything and your confidence flew out the window.  You ask questions such as:

• Did I talk enough? Too much?
• Was I pretty enough? Should I have worn make-up?  Spent time on my hair?
• Did those people think I was weird?
• Did I laugh too much or too loud?  Not enough?
• Did I ask too many questions?  Not enough?

You won’t make me re-live it again will you?  You see where I became a teenager again?  Thank God I only had a relapse for the span of about 5 minutes before I realized what an ass I was being.  I’m 26, this is who I am.  If people don’t like or get that well that’s too bad.  I’m not impressionable anymore.

The lesson and answer to the questions above?  IT DOESN’T MATTER.

my eye has started twitching again.  it couldn’t possibly because i’m home could it?  shit.

I didn’t want to come home.