& that's the way life goes

I went jogging the other night with C.  It’s was a little humid and I was not on my A game. I kept getting cramps in my side.  I was crabby because before we went to jog we played an hour and a 1/2 of tennis.  I sucked ass.  No really, I’m not exaggerating my backhand blew.  UGH I get irritated thinking about it.  So I’m jogging, I’m crabby from tennis and now I keep getting fucking cramps in my sides.  Are you fucking serious?  ARGH!  So we come out from the trail and on to the path.  I have sweat dripping down my neck and all of a sudden something lands in my eye.  MY EYE!  It’s stinging.  C is way up ahead of me and I’m starting to panic.

There is a bug in my eye!  So I cautiously rub IT a little thinking the bug might just fall out.  But I got more sweat in my eye than anything else and it starts to burn!  TO BURN!  Finally, C turns around and nonchalantly jogs back to me.  We both have our headphones on and can’t hear one another so we don’t bother talking.  He looks in my eye and sticks his BIG FAT FUCKING FRED FLINSTONE FINGER IN MY EYE!  IN MY EYE!  So I yell at him because HELLO YOUR BIG FAT FUCKING FINGER is hurting my eye.  Not to mention that he has sweat dripping down him so there is more salty sweat in my eye.  IN MY EYE!  Needless to say he gets pissed and runs off.  I’m frustrated, crabby and the bug is still in my eye.  So what do I do?  I start to cry in the middle of the path.  Partially hoping this will dislodge the little bugger since I have no idea where in my eye it is.  UGH!  I get a hold of myself, in reality I only shed like 2 5 tears and then ran the rest of the way back to the car where I proceeded to get yelled at for being a cranky byotch.

HELLO, THERE WAS A FUCKING BUG IN MY EYE AND YOUR FAT FUCKING FRED FLINSTONE FINGER WAS HURTING MY EYE!