Have you ever had a moment where you realized just how far you’ve come?
I’m sitting here working on my homework on a beautiful Saturday, interrupted periodically by AIM to reminisce about the good memories of the past. It’s a nice relaxing pace. It made me think about this tape I really want to find. I search through a drawer in my computer room to see if I can find it. I’m rummaging around and my hand grasps a tranquil looking journal. At first my mind wonders what this is, and then I remember buying it. I open it to find just a few entries and then pages ripped out. In the back I find an email to myself. I read through the entries and my heart aches for the girl I was. For the confusion, pain and misery I had felt. Setting the journal back down, I sit back to reflect. 5 years later the wounds have healed but my stomach clenches as I remember.
“I feel like I’m deceiving everyone around me and losing my grip on reality. I hate keeing things from people but it seems that’s the only way I’m going to figure anything out. … May God be looking down on me in my confusion, frustration and misery and maybe take pity on me. “
I know I’m not that person any more. I know that the amount of strength people have inside them is infinite. You never really know how strong you are until you are tested.
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going through old journals and photo albums can be an unwelcome blast to the past. it makes alcoholics out of some people. =)
if it didn’t come back up when I drank, I might need to worry lol